The main problem, besides the awful dialogue, is with the movie’s austere tone. But the script by Kinberg, Theresa Rebeck and Bek Smith is so bereft of humanity and thick with exposition, you could care less if the world they’re trying to save gets blown into smithereens. And it’s fun to watch them beat up bad guys. When was the last time we saw a better group of actors in the same frame? With each actress hailing from a different continent, Chastain, Kruger, Nyong’o and Cruz do their best with their lifeless characters. The only reason to see this fiasco is for the all-female cast. Strangely, this movie has the exact same story as last year’s catastrophe of a comedy, Hitman’s Wife Bodyguard, but at least that one was sort of self aware. When they finally slow things down to make room for the characters, everyone is so damn earnest, you can’t help but groan. There’s a lot of yelling, betrayal and mugging, and none of it has weight. cyber specialist, Khadijah (Lupita Nyong’o), and Colombian psychologist Graciela (Penelope Cruz)– just in case they need some therapy while kicking ass?Īfter introducing our team of professionals, which takes forever, the narrative disintegrates into a smorgasbord of grand locales (Paris, Morroco, Shanghai) and large set pieces you don’t really care about since Kinberg ( X-Men: Dark Phoenix) constantly moves the camera, almost irritably, and the editing never focuses on things like ambiance or mood. When Nick is killed during a botched assignment to obtain this dangerous thingy which could cause World War III, or whatever, Mace enlists the help of German agent Marie (Diane Kruger), U.K. If you ever want to see a performance dead set on attaining the gold standard for laid-back, masculine sexiness, Stan’s will satisfy. agent who reluctantly falls in love with fellow agent Nick (Sebastian Stan). Chastain (who’s also a producer) is Mace Browne, a burned-out C.I.A. Taking its title from the code number of a famed female spy during the Revolutionary War, The 355 involves a team of agents trying to stop terrorists from procuring a potentially catastrophic gizmo. At one point you’ll wonder how all these talented people signed on to this mess. But the abysmal script can’t hide behind a colossal budget, exotic locations or high-energy action sequences. Hire the best A-list actresses, a sporty action director (Simon Kinberg), and commission a script about a MacGuffin that can blow up the world. Stellar cast and Jessica Chastain’s good intentions to make an all-female Bond-style thriller aside, The 355 plays more like a blockbuster blueprint than an actual movie.
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December 2022
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